Just get together with all your friends and put down money on their predictions of the exact dates that the following  incidents will happen ...

Sven Goran Eriksson caught with young woman story hits the newspapers

Nicolas Anelka says, "I need to leave Bolton."

Arsene Wenger complains that football in England involves too many games and it is so unfair.

All the new players at Birmingham City are introduced to each other at a specially arranged "Meet the Players" evening.

Jose Mourinho claims to be the special one.

Roman Abramovich claims that Jose Mourinho is just one of many who could manage Chelsea.

Sir Alex Ferguson complains that Manchester United do not get enough penalties.

Ken Bates tries to buy back Leeds United for an increased bid of £5.

Everton finally break the one goal barrier, but can only draw 2-2 with Derby County.

Roy Keane squares up to Alex Ferguson in the match between Sunderland and Manchester United because the Red Devils are awarded a controversial throw-in.

Manchester City fail to put out eleven players because nobody wants to play for them.

Reading FC escape an FA charge of failing to control their players, with Steve Coppell saying, "We believe in doing things by the book."

Teddy Sheringham scores the goal for Colchester United which knocks West Ham United out of the FA Cup.

Roy Keane faces an FA charge of ungentlemanly conduct after putting his boots on to face Manchester City for Sunderland ... despite not being named on the team-sheet.

Liverpool have nine points deducted for paying too much for Fernando Torres.

West Ham United's wage bill reaches the size of the Gross National Product of Canada.

Aston Villa draw every game of the Premiership season.

Disillusioned after Newcastle United are bottom of the Premier League within two months, the club are put up for sale ... at a discount price by owner Mike Ashley, with it going on sale through all the branches of Lilywhites/Sports Soccer throughout the country.

Fulham accept the role of part-time Northern Ireland team after manager Lawrie Sanchez signs up 20 Northern Ireland internationals.

Sven Goran Eriksson is caught in a sting set up by the News of the World involving a fake sheik who tries to get him to buy a string of players nobody has ever heard of for Manchester City.

When Sunderland draw MK Dons in the League Cup, the football is secondary to the touchline fight between Roy Keane and Paul Ince.

After falling out with manager Frank Rijkaard over the filming of a new Renault advert for the Spanish market,  Thierry Henry comes off the bench to make only his second appearance of the season to net the winner against Arsenal in the group stage of the Champions League, thus condemning the Gooners to no further European football this season.

Blackburn Rovers record the worst disciplinary record in the Premier League ... in their first game.

Bolton Wanderers terminate the contract of manager Sammy Lee after he was no longer able to enter the stadium.

Wigan Athletic face an FA inquiry as to why they are unable to fill their JJB Sports Shop outside their ground.

Manchester City's new kit causes a stir as players arses can be seen through the shorts, when someone misheard that that the new owner, Thaksin Shinawatra was providing a bottomless pit at the club.

The summer transfer dealings of Harry Redknapp provided Portsmouth with so many players, they appeal to the FA Premier League to be able to choose from 39 substitutes each game.

Roy Keane is involved in an unsightly bust-up with Craig Bellamy when Sunderland meet West Ham United over who is the most volatile.

Mido has a bust-up with Harrods and Fulham owner Mohammed Al-Fayed over his salary at the club following his transfer from Tottenham.  Mido feels that being paid in donkey milk was an insult to his ability.

West Ham United are relegated when Carlos Tevez scored the winner at Old Trafford for Manchester United.

Nothing happens to Middlesbrough.