| Hello to all soccer lovers in the U
of K from Robinson Heath on this side of the big pond. As
the new season is already upon us, the sun is shining on
my back and I am thinking of all you readers surrounded
by thick London fog. In fact, I am perusing a document
sent to me by a contact at Priestfield. Opening my post I
discovered some terrific historical soccerabilia to aid
my research here in downtown Illinois, at the University
of Soccer. While reading through a team listing
magazine (That's a programme to you and I - Ed) from
1948, when as expected, I noted what the teams were
wearing. There were no surprises above the knees, just
the regulation shirts and shorts, but it came as somewhat
of a shock to me to find that all twenty two players were
wearing stockings! For a moment, I thought I had
inadvertently started to thumb through a TV guide !!
This discovery set my pulses racing and my synapses
crackling faster as to how soccerists o~ their day
managed to get through ninety minutes of tou
gh,soccer-based action and maintain straight seams.
Whether the FA allowed the use of suspenders was not
recorded, but a clue to this was to be unearthed in the
annals of Lancaster Gate history as this tied in with the
Introductian of a disciplinary proce dure and the
inauguration of suspensions.
After the war, it is well known that the triumphant GI
Joes lured many a young English Rose to the States, but
it is little known that many of the top English soccer
stars were enticed abroad by the promise of silk
stockings.
During this period, many English clubs experimented
widely in the hosiery area. The prime movers were Grimsby
Town who's innovative fishnet stockings took the League
by storm on a wet and windy night at Southend. They
really caught a lot of people out. Chelsea's approach
attracted much attention from educated women of the era
as they favoured the Blue stocking. As you would expect,
Man. Un. were not slow to capitalise on the trend and had
five different types of stocking available for f ans to
adorn their legs. The Villains of Aston employed a novel
mode of use by refraining from wearing them on their legs
and putting them over their heads instead. This spawned
the highy successful "smash and grab" Villa
side af the late Forties and early Fifties, which swept
all before them, often coming from behind to overpower
their opponents, before stealing both points from their
hapless victims. (This side should not be confused with
the lesser Derby side of the time nicknamed "The Ram
Raiders", who played a similar style of soccer, but
despite the name, were never well received in Swansea,
Cardiff or Wrexham).
The other side of Brumland saw the Throstles hosting a
team who's Baggies stockings were to become famous many
years later for a non-footba lling character known as
Nora Batty in the hilarious cult cable TV show 'The Last
of the Summer Winos". Meanwhile, those crazy hatters
of Luton took to wearing their legwear on their arms. Oh
Boy!! Better lock that Mercury away !! Further confusion
reined in the East of the capital, where tortologically,
the team of Clapton plumped for 'the O's Hose" and
way out west Fulham's stockings were worn in the way that
only they could fill 'em. (I think you know what I mean).
The highest quality and most refined s tockings af the
age, the Posh stockings,were borne by Peterborough
United, so you can see how far things have slid since
then.
This piece of soccer apparel has become very important
in the introduction of many sayings in the modern game. A
superstitious side after a particularly good run in the
same stockings, found themselves climbing the ladder and
going up the League. Indeed, the hosiery attracted many
famous manufacturers and an early entrant onto the scene
was the famous Pretty Polly brand. Working c losely with
a number of clubs who called them in, they soon made
inroads into the soccer stocking market. However, the
roster of clubs they designed for were stunningly
unsuccessful. Many fans put this down to their
association with their fancy footwear a nd thus the
phrase 'As sick as a parrot" came into common usage.
Even the much derided, but commonly accepted
shoot-outs evolved from the use in the early years. As
players approached to take their go in the sudden death
finale, many were undone by their stockings falling dawn,
Thus the process was performed in a high pressure
situation, while keeping them in suspenders, to ease
their facilitation af the decisive enactment.
In the current technosoccer climate, where the
merchandising operations manager is king, the potential
for marketing a massive range of stockings has opened up
to provide a huge club megastore window of opportunity. I
understand that Coventry have spurned the use of
suspenders and will be producing their own "Sky
Blues Stay-Up" rang e which will be launched on the
last day of the season. Arsenal have cashed in on the
trend for retro-soccerwear and found that pantyhose suits
many of their defensive foreign stars much more
(especially an cold winter nights, remember the John
Barnes winter warmers ?). Indeed, Arsene Wenger, never
slow to realise an advertising opportunity when it
presents itself, can often be heard to shout 'Keep it
tights at the back" whenever in range of a
microphone (when he's not laying into Man. Un. that is).
In fact , our very own favourites, Gillingham, have been
prevented from selling their own line of hosiery at the
ground , as'Gills stockings" provoked a storm of
protest from Mrs. Matheson of Rochester. She stormed into
the club shop demad ing that the items be returned after
they had gone missing from her washing 1ine. Individual
players are also keen to move into this monney-making
sphere. The granddaddy of the persanol stocking was
ex-Sunderland and West Ham 1970's forward, Bryan Robson .
His own brand of short stocking started the craze and
little did he know that 'Pop Socks" would lead to.
Trying to ensure that they have the highest quality of
stocking, Newcastle Unit ed will be launching their
'Shearer" range in the New Year. Gianfranca Zola has
a 100% silk stocking named after him to reflect his
skills, but unfortunately, these will only be available
in children's sizes. Even lan Ormondroyd has toyed with
changing his nickname from 'Freak" to 'Pippi"
and develop a longstocking brand, but these will only be
available in giraffe sizes.
The fan-base of many clubs has not been forgotten. A
new line for fans whose passion or interest may be
flagging by March (or January if you follow Spurs) comes
in the shape of 'Support Stockings" to lift the
spirits (and other parts) of the dedicated follower of
fashion and soccer. With Mike Oldfield's brother, Bruce,
moving into the kit design field, it's only a matter of
time before Vivien Westwood gets her crazed visions on
the legs of soccerfans everywhere.
Where times are hard at some clubs, I'm informed that
there aren't enough stockings to go round, so they engage
in stocks and shares. Beats me !!
Until next time, keep it soccer,keep it techno !!
Robinson
Heath
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