With all the comings and goings at Anfield this summer, there are plans afoot to introduce the players by having their own songs. Here are our suggestions.
1.... My CAMARA Never Lies - Bucks Fizz
2.....(Do You Believe In The) WESTERVELD - Theatre of Hate
3....This Is Red Snapper - REDKNAPP(er).
4.....SMICER Up Your Life - Spice Girls
5.....You Don’t Bring Me FOWLERs - Barabra Streisand
6.....I’m Your HAMANN - Wham
7....HYPPIA Chick - Soho
8....Redemption SONG - Bob Marley
9...HEGGEM (Must Be Missing An Angel) - Tavares.
10..BJORNEBYE Wild - The Troggs.

 

Over the summer months THFC were linked with numerous transfer targets. Here are but 10 of the names mentioned.

1.....Chris Sutton (now Chelsea)

2.....Emile Heskey (Leicester City)

3.....Kieron Dyer (now Newcastle United)

4.....Ugo Ehiogu (Aston Villa)

5.....Stephen Hughes (Arsenal)

6.....Lee Dixon (Arsenal) !!

7.....Sergei Rebrov (Dinamo Kiev)

8.....Robbie Keane (Wolverhampton Wanderers)

9.....Alain Goma (now Newcastle United)

10...Christian (Internacional - Brazil)

That is just some of the myriad of players the club have actively been chasing after ... if you believe what you read in the media !!

 

For all the disappointments over the years, the Worthington Cup Final at Wembley brought joy to tens of thousands of Spurs fans. Here are our eleven favourite moments from the day.
1.... The side coming out of the tunnel.
2.....Leicester’s team going into a huddle prior to kick off to discuss.how they were going to lose.
3.....Leicester concentrating so much on Ginola they forgot to play.their own game.
4.....Ramon Vega’s block on Heskey as he moved in on goal.
5.....Walker’s double save from Ullathorne and Cottee.
6.....Savage’s substitution with the offending bogey hanging down.from his nose.
7.....Swiftly followed by our goal by Allan Nielsen.
8....."Savage Savage, What’s the score ?"
9.....Savage getting loads of stick going up to get his losers medal
10..."Ten men, we only had ten men."
11...Tottenham celebrating with the cup on the pitch for what seemed like a lifetime.

 

The computer spellcheck is a wonderful thing and although it is best used to spot mistakes, it can be used to have a good laugh. So, here are our top ten favourite interpretations of Spurs players names ...

1.....David Ginola - David Gigolo

2.....Moussa Saib - Mousse Saab

3.....Espen Baardsen - Espy Bareness

4.....Steffen Freund - Stiffen Friend

5.....Steffen Iversen - Stiffen Aversion

6.....Darren Anderton - Darned Anderson

7.....Tim Sherwood - Tim Shrewd

8.....Andy Sinton - Andy Suntan

9.....Colin Calderwood - Colic Calderwood

10...Mauricio Taricco - Morocco Terrace

 

The Internet is all the rage with the young people these days, so us old fogies at MEHSTG decided to get on the information steveheighway and search for our favourite Tottenham stars. These are the 10 most popular Spurs players found (based on documents mentioning their names) through an Altavista search on 24th December 1998.

1.....Les Ferdinand ........2056

2.....Ian Walker ...............1798

3.....David Ginola ...........1687

4.....Allan Nielsen ..........1282

5.....Sol Campbell .........1243

6.....Darren Anderton ...1260

7.....Chris Armstrong ....1176

8.....Colin Calderwood ..732

9.....John Scales .............705

10...Ramon Vega ...........703

(Funnily enough a search for "Nicola Berti" found no documents !!)

 

..Following the training ground bust-up between Hartson and Berkovic, .here’s our top ten songs for the two Happy Hammers.
1... I Get A Kick Out Of You (Gary Shearston)
2... Iron Out The Roughspots (Paul Young)
3... Kicker Conspiracy (The Fall)
4... Kung Fu Fighting (Bus Stop & Carl Douglas)
5... Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benatar)
6... If I Had A Hammer [I’d Kick Him In The Morning] (Trini Lopez)
7... Head Over Heels (Kevin Keegan)
8... Can He Kick It [Yes He Can] (A Tribe Called Quest)
9... Lose It (Supergrass)
10. Temper Temper (Goldie)

 

On the Baker and Kelly Show on TalkRadio, following the Sheffield Wednesday match, they were discussing which music Spurs should run out to.  Danny Baker suggested "Passing Strangers", but the problem was they weren’t passing.  I thought of "Take the Money and Run", but there was little running.  In the end, I came up with these ten tunes.....
1..... Come Together (The Beatles)
2..... Looking For Clues (Robert Palmer)
3..... What Presence (Orange Juice)
4..... Live The Dream (Cast)
5..... In It For The Money (Supergrass)
6..... Missing (Everything But The Girl)
7..... Out Of The Sinking (Paul Weller)
8..... What Do I Get ?? (The Buzzcocks)
9..... Shame Shame Shame (Evelyn King)
10... Respect Yourself (The Kane Gang)

 

November 1999

With Christmas approaching, MEHSTG reveals the items THFC had to leave out of their Xmas merchandising catalogue (due to lack of space).

  1. Original Les Ferdinand smelling salts.
  2. Chris Armstrong football boots - one unused.
  3. Your own injured young cow.
  4. Oyvind Leonhardsen Long-life batteries.
  5. David Ginola sings “Lah-di Lah-di Tottenham Hotspur”.
  6. Steffen Iversen’s Anglo-Saxon Dictionary.
  7. Espen Baardsen’s bench bum warmer.
  8. The Jose Dominguez Party Limbo Set.
  9. “The Little Book of Calm” by Steffen Freund.
  10. The Willem Korsten “Master of Disguise“ set.

 

February 2000

What is it they say about a stitch in time ?? Well, here are some common phrases or sayings that include Spurs or ex-Spurs players.

  1. Sly as Ruel Fox
  2. Hans Segers can’t be choosers
  3. Look before you David Lee
  4. Too many Jason Cooks spoil the broth
  5. Horses for Korstens
  6. A Freund in need is a Freund indeed
  7. Don’t put Stephen Carr before the horse
  8. In for Chris Perry in for a pound
  9. The German word ‘Steffenfreund’ meaning malicious enjoyment of another’s misfortunes
  10. To chance your Armstrong

Oh and don’t forget, “Never give a Suker an even break”

 

 

November 2000

Some Spurs players from years gone by have shared their names with famous people and things 
from other realms.

1. Albert Hall (1935-47) - NOT that big building in London.

2. George Foreman (1944-47) - NOT the World Heavyweight champion boxer.

3. William Hay (1894-97) - NOT the comic star of 1940’s films.

4. Joe Meek (1935-39) - NOT the innovative 1960’s pop producer of John Leyton and the Tornados.

5. Daniel Steel (1906-12) - NOT the woman who writes airport
best sellers.

6. Brian Statham (1987-92) - NOT the England cricket fast bowler.

7. Neil Young (1991-1994) - NOT the former member of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

8. Roy Brown (1962-68) - NOT the chubby, crude comedian.

9. Ted Hughes (1899-1908) - NOT the former Poet Laureate.

10. John Madden (1897-1908) - NOT the American gridiron commentator.

 

February 2001

It appears that Arsenal have gone in for signing fictional characters these days. With this in mind, the following are films that current Arsenal players could star in …

1. Edu - Passport to Pimlico

2. Tomas Danilevicius - The Man Without a Face

3. Lee Dixon - Clueless

4. Thierry Henry - Regarding Henry

5. Robert Pires - Sailor Beware

6. Sylvain Wiltord - Seven Chances

7. Ray Parlour - Blondie on a Budget

8. Tony Adams - Mulan

9. Martin Keown - Monkey Business

10. David Seaman - The Goalkeeper's Fear of the Penalty

 

April 2001

CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS

On waking up on Christmas morning the following were found in certain people's Christmas stockings.

1. Roy Keane: A prawn sandwich.

2. David Beckham: A membership to MENSA.

3. Fabian Barthez: A wig.

4. Jim Smith: Hair restorer.

5. Ron Atkinson: an English phrasebook.

6. George Graham: A great big loving Xmas card from the Tottenham support!

7. Gary Lineker: Grecian 1000 and a big, oversize, woolly sweater.

8. Jack Charlton: An Irish phrasebook.

9. Ryan Giggs: A flower stall in a lay-by just off the M6.

10. Barry Ferguson (Rangers): A wetsuit, he's really into diving.

Cal Walker Burns 2000

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