cheap heat


From the late 70's to the late 80's eighties I was an avid follower of British wrestling.  When it was taken off the television at the end of the eighties it almost died as an entertainment form in Britain.  It is currently resurgent using faded stars from WWF/E yesteryear.  You will be quite rightly asking, what has this got to do with our beloved Spurs or even football in general.  Well.  The reason that American wrestling has thrived, where ours has failed is a concept called Heat.  A performer does not succeed due to his own talent in the States.  He is judged on how much heat or to put it in laymen's terms.  How much of a reaction do they incite?

The concept of heat is now catching on in Britain.  Finished has-been journalists or young never-have-been journalists have begun to realise that they don't have to be any good, they just have to be controversial.  Anyone, who has endured the Saturday papers on the way to a match, will know that the truth never gets in the way of a good story. 

During last summer.  It was my pleasure to join 35000 Spurs fans in honouring Bill Nicholson.  I had never before at WHL experienced the level of affection and admiration that was showered on this Spurs legend.  It reminded us all that Spurs invented push and run football, it was us that made the game something to meditate on.  How gutted was I when reading the match reports, that Spurs fans were slated for a couple of innocuous chants about a centre half who had left.  The warm feeling from the previous evening had vanished. It was replaced by a sense of injustice.  These hacks who should have been writing about a truly unique manager with a unique talent.  But that just doesn't sell.  As a side note, I found the chanting about the said centre half, wholly appropriate.  It highlighted the contrast between a true Spurs fan and a self serving careerist mummies boy.  The second loudest cheer going to Gary Mabbutt was also very apt.

Anyway back to the point of the article.  If heat really does sell then spurs fans are a marketing dream. Why is it that we feel we need to constantly defend ourselves ?  We are Tottenham, super Tottenham.  The innovators of push and run football.  We are the team who brought Ardiles and Villa when South American players in the English league were unheard of.  We were the first team to win the Double in the modern era.  We have had England's most creative midfielders, playing their best football in our team.  We have no need to justify or apologise for supporting this club.  

The truth is football is popular because we made it so.  Everybody knows it, they're just afraid to admit it. 

This brings me to my second irksome subject. The 'Guvnor'.  Heard of him ?  Well you shouldn't have.  This  hospital radio reject, failure of a pundit should have been ushered quietly out of Teletext's back door long ago.  He would have too, had we not started replying to his posts, thus giving the impression he has something valid to say.  I never even looked at his page.  Then he began talking through his backside, saying anything he knew would wind people up.  Now I can't help looking to see what drivel he has come out with this time.  And at who has been goaded into responding, thus extending the stay of this talentless nobody. 

The above point also applies to football phone ins.  Everyone lets stop paying these peoples wages.  Let's just be satisfied that we are Tottenham.  As the song goes 'And if you know your history........' 

The final and most disturbing point.  There is has a top-level government enquiry, investigating whether Spurs fans helped a certain S.Cumball get selected for the World Cup finals.  The above centre half was doing a fine Job of ruining his career and going the same way as Neil 'pay me what I'm worth' Ruddock, Paul ' show me the way to go home' Stewart and Vinny 'too good for Spurs' Samways.  i.e. down through the divisions.  All of a sudden there was November 17th and he could do no wrong.

The enquiry concluded that Spurs fans were merely venting their justified hurt at being deceived over a period of years.  The enquiry reminded the Spurs fans not to waste their breath.  They have two centre halves in King and Gardner who will be England mainstays for years to come.  The enquiry concluded that the inclusion of the average centre half was down to the press, Sky Andrew and Dennis Bergkamp, who long after Campbell had become a non-story were involved in long interviews telling us about Campbell's bottle. 

Bottle !!! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha .............. I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  

Liverpool's' Marcus Babbel will return to the playing squad this summer after battling an illness that at one point made him so weak, he couldn't lift his eyelids.  We all wish him well. Did he have bottle? Of course not, he never stalled on a contract for two years; before demanding ridiculous wages, he knew very well the club wouldn't pay. 

Our beloved former skipper, who led by example over two decades, despite having diabetes and suffering a career threatening injury.  Did he have bottle ?  Clearly not.  He never led the top clubs in Europe a merry dance, knowing all along he had no intention of leaving London. 

Do these players get the column inches Campbell gets ?  No way.  They're simply not news worthy.  If Campbell deserves a medal for bravery.  So surely does private Pike from Dad's Army.  He too was a big sissy who refused to join a proper team because his mum wouldn't let him stray too far from her apron strings. 

Is there any hope for rational, intelligent football journalism ?  I think so.  It is the duty of every Spurs fan.  When we purchase the newspapers, we should in front of the shop assistant.  Tear off the back pages and any pages containing 'John Sadler gives it to you straight (from the arse)' and any of his ilk.  And leave them on the counter.  Maybe this will show that nobody buys papers to read the thoughts of these so-called experts.  We just want to know what's on the telly.

Come on you Spurs!!!!!


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