- Louis van Gaal has had such a bad start
at Manchester United that the David Moyes "Chosen One" banner is
re-installed at the Stretford End.
- Leicester City have made a move to
sign up the star of the Rocky and Rambo films as one of their fans.
They hope to make him an ambassador for the club and give Stallone
the title of "Sly Fox" to promote the club in America.
- QPR midfielder Jermaine Jenas
will miss three months at the start of the season after his ice
bucket challenge left him with double pneumonia.
- During Chelsea match, referee Lee
Probert was confronted by Jose Mourinho and John Terry challenging a
decision. With the Respect campaign obviously being
disrespected, the official pulled out his vanishing foam spray and
used it like Mace to repel the Blues manager and captain.
- Liverpool announced that Anfield was
sold out for the rest of the season, with the majority of the seats
at the ground taken by their squad which included 1,204 new
signings.
- Aston Villa's failure to sign
anyone in the summer transfer was a real surprise ... to nobody.
- Jack Wilshire was booked for sneaking
off the pitch to have a smoke behind the goal.
- Manuel Pelligrini tags Manchester United
the "nosey neighbours" after Louis van Gaal employed drones to fly
over the City training ground to see how they manage to win games.
It later turned out that they were not drones, but that was merely
the noise coming from the Stretford End when United played as the
fans were sent to sleep.
- Everton were upset when Burnley's
match programme listed only their numbers and not their players
names. This was hardly surprising, as few of their squad can
be named by more than a handful of people.
- The summer transfer window ended in
farce at Loftus Road, when the QPR revolving door got stuck.
- Sam Allardyce kept his job at West
Ham United until the end of the season by producing more
entertainment. He was regularly to be found turning
somersaults and shaking his belly for the co-owners in the executive
suites to hordes of visiting corporate visitors.
- Manchester City are found to have
fallen foul of the financial fair play rules and they were not
playing on a level playing field compared to all the other teams in
the Premier League. It was discovered that there was a large
hump in the turf in front of the Colin Bell stand and when
investigated, there was a stash of used fivers buried there so that
FIFA didn't find them.
- Aston Villa drew fifteen of their
first seventeen games, with one victory and one loss, ensuring that
there was an equal split of fans for and against the manager Paul
Lambert. However, with Roy Keane also in the dug-out, Lambert
was protected from any crowd abuse.
- Maverick Hull City owner Aseem
Allam has been censored by the FA Premier League for leading a
live Tiger around the running track at the KC Stadium to try and
scare the City fans into accepting a change to his preferred
name for the club.
- West Bromwich Albion enraged their
fans with their new pinstripe first team shirts, but the supporters
could not stomach the bowler hats they had to wear as part of their
get up this season !!
- Leroy Fer obviously has a taste for
Championship football, having signed for QPR from newly relegated
Norwich City.
- QPR were lauded for producing plans
for a new academy and a 40,000 first team ground in the Old Oak area
not far from their current home, but they had forgotten that there
were more risk of woodworm than at Wormwood Scrubs just down the
road.
- Spurs launched a flexible, poseable
action figure based on their new Welsh left back, with the product
named the "Ben D toy".
- Stoke City are taking their team
to a whole new level by buying even taller players in the
January transfer window.
- The squad at Swansea City decided to
take inspiration from the Scottish Independence campaign and all
speak the national language instead of English. This was a
little complicated, as some of the squad couldn't speak English in
the first place.
- Midfielder Yaya Toure wants to
leave Manchester City after he felt that the club were
disrespecting him by losing to Stoke City.
- Southampton looked to maintain some
stability in their squad during the winter transfer window after a
hectic summer, with a mere 14 players coming and going before the
end of January.
- Burnley mascot Bertie Bee was
involved in some controversy at the game against Arsenal, when the Gooners thought he was taking the mickey out of their 1970s manager
Bertie Mee. Things got further complicated, as Ben Mee was
confused by the Arsenal fans anger. "You should try being B.
Mee," the Burnley defender and mascot said to each other.
- Newcastle United introduced a
transfer policy simply to annoy Sunderland.
- Leicester City offered a place
in an executive suite for one lucky sponsor of a game, with
their "Fox In The Box" coimpetition.
- Chelsea remain top of the league
at Christmas with 100 goals scored and 97 conceded.
Manchester United are mid-table with 100 goals conceded and 97
scored. Aston villa are in 10th place with 19 points from
19 games and a goal difference of 0.
- Sunderland sign the entirety of
the Uruguayan league, leaving the South American's FA
administrators launching a legal bid to make the Black Cats play
in their country.
- The January transfer window ended in
farce at Loftus Road, when the window on Harry Redknapp's car went
wrong and his head got stuck in it as it closed on him while he
was giving an interview to a Sky Sports reporter.
- Leicester City invite1980s band Sly
Fox to re-form to play a special gig at the King Power Stadium to
promote the club brand in Thailand, where their "Let's Go All The
Way" hit was banned, making them hot property around Phuket and
Bangkok.
- Arsenal's Jack Wilshire was
prosecuted by Islington Council for smoking
in the toilets at Highbury at half-time.
- Midfielder Yaya Toure wants to
leave Manchester City after he felt that the club were
disrespecting him by making him park too far away from the
dressing room at the club's training ground.
- Crystal Palace unveiled their
fourteenth manager of the season for their Boxing Day clash with
Southampton.
- Tottenham put on a testimonial
for Michael Dawson who left in the summer and couple it with one
for Jon Obika, who also departed during the same window after
serving the club for many years. The match featured a
Michael Dawson XI v a Jon Obika Loan XI featuring one player
from each loan spell away from the club plus himself.
- QPR midfielder Joseph Barton was
unmasked when his Twitter account was hacked and the true identity
of the writer revealed as a 17 year old Philosophy student preparing
for his A level.
- Hull City were said to be considering
a bid for Daniel Levy and the Spurs board in the January transfer
window.
- Nike were working with Stoke City to
produce a ball which performed well at high altitudes.
- West Ham United were bombed out of a
futsal tournament after complaining that the ball was too heavy and
how could they be expected to play their usual route one football ?
- The FA surprisingly decide to re-interpret the
handball law when it happens in the penalty area, giving the benefit
of the doubt to defenders (except John Terry). Well hands up
who saw that coming ? But not in the penalty area of course.
- 14th February 2015 was a red
letter day in the calendar, as for the first time ever media and
newspapers did not carry a sound bite from Harry Redknapp.
- Everton are victim of their own
success with fans from all over the world claiming that they
travelled to their first Toffees game when their match was
called off. Following last year's example when a fan
travelled form the Far East and was given a great reception,
this season 783 'fans' have claimed sporting asylum at Goodison
Park, with some of them sleeping on the terraces ... during
games.
- The Yes vote for Scottish
Independence finally ruled out any chance of Celtic and Rangers
playing in the English leagues, but also saw the FA and Premier
League stop the flow of players from England to Scotland in
retaliation to the decision. The flow South of the border
would also have been blocked, but there are very few decent Scottish
footballers these days.
- West Ham United's new offensive
style was taken more than literally, when Sam Allardyce called
the referee a "stupid git" in one game.
- Arsenal's Jack Wilshire was
dropped from the England squad for smoking
at the back of the team coach.
- Chelsea have shelled out £46
million on former central defender Micky Droy, who Roman
Abramovich had heard a lot about and thought could do a job for
the team like Didier Drogba.
- Face-painted England fans were left red and white faced after
England lost their Euro 2016 qualifier to San Marino.
- Midfielder Yaya Toure wants to
leave Manchester City after he felt that the club were
disrespecting him by only giving him the same amount of food as
everyone else in the club canteen.
- The Scottish Independence vote also
lead to a row over the ownership of Hadrian's Wall, with the Scots
laying claim to it, as the best defensive wall in their country
there had ever been.
- London fans were shocked by the naming
rights fiasco that saw Leicester City's ground named the 'King Power
Stadium.
- The FA decide to penalise players for
goalpost or advertising hoarding abuse when they miss a goal and
take it out on the inanimate objects.
- The most used phrase on live
televised coverage this season was announced as, "And Wilshire
is down injured."
- To make his club more marketable in the
French market, where Mike Ashley buys most of his players from, he
has changed the name of the team to Nouveau Chateau.
- Steven Gerrard, the veteran
Liverpool captain, missed the last two months of the season
after he collapsed running up to take the Reds' forty-third
penalty of the season. Raheem Sterling, Mario Balotelli
and Daniel Sturridge have all been treated for arthritis after
spending much of the season rolling around on wet turf.
- Defensive walls were creeping
forward again after the great spray foam shortage of March 2015.
- West Ham United faced a law suit from
a fourth official who was attending to a stray ball when the Irons
inadvertently scored, causing the bubble machine to go off and this
temporarily blinded him and caused him to miss Carlton Cole being
caught mooning at Sam Allardyce after he netted his first goal since
David Attenborough was a boy.
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